Pleasers lose their self-identity as they live for and by others, and expect the same in return. Intra-personally too, they feel disconnected from who or what they really are and thus feel lonely. They also wear masks to hide inner feelings. They may be smiling and pleasant on the exterior, but are angry, hostile and resentful within, because they are giving with a sense of doer ship, with hidden expectations, and seldom in humble receiving mode. Superficial pleasantness masks their angry feeling of being used. They thus portray themselves as ‘nice’ victims and others as the bad guys who use their niceness. This results in interpersonal tension.
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